Not in the Mood.

I have a confession.

No I didn’t kill anyone and no one died.

Well, someone did died. But that is beside the point.

I don’t know what it is about today. I woke up in a blue state of mind and there are no photos to share for this kind of moment. Why because it took me since I woke up to get any gumption to make coffee or just to do something other than sit there like a bump on a log.

It makes me wonder if this part of the holiday blues or starting of the winter blues??? Who knows but I do know I don’t want to take down the Christmas tree all by myself. I know weird…right? I can cook an entire complicated meal on my own but taking down the Christmas tree seems like a monumental task.

Lets not even talk about house cleaning or making the meal plan for the grocery list. I woke up this morning so not in the mood for it. I also woke up not wanting to blog or catch up on social media which I have my views on all of them. Anyway that is beside the point of where I am going with this post.

I woke up this morning in a blah mood.

A part of the blues, I got to thinking of how important this whole cookbook challenge is to my life. Is blogging about it even worth it? It is if you have the time. It is if you have family members around you who understand what you accomplishing goal is at the end of it all. My family, TW included really don’t. To them it consumes too much of my time. I say its no different than you watching TV for hours on hand, and you think nothing of it. So if it takes me five hours to write a blog post that nobody reads, its no different than you watching television for five hours. At least it is giving me something to do other than cleaning, cooking or anything else domestic task in the home.

Why did I start this blog and this challenge?

Well, for one thing it certainly wasn’t to put Ree Drummond down or to tear her apart. I am certainly trying my damnedest not to be a critic when it come to this challenge but it has become non-avoidable. The other side of the challenge was on a personal level. I needed someone who cooked close to TW’s picky eating, my health was another, and trying to find a job in a field that absolutely rejected me. Yes, I started blogging as a credential to find a job in the real world (that’s my biggest confession by the way). But the good lord had other plans and gave me a position that deals more on the accounting side than the marketing side. Believe it or not, I am actually okay with that. Because unlike Ree Drummond, I am not the housewife looking to converse beyond my ranch. I would gladly take the solitude of a working ranch than to be here in the city. I miss the country life!

I know the animosity or the irony of not really being all that sociable of a person (me) who writes a blog about cookbook challenge who’s chosen person (Ree) is one of the most beloved social butterflies around. Here is the part that cracks me up the most and it just hit me like a bolt of lighting. Yeah, it hurt like hell by the way. It is all the hypocritical rules of blogging. I found a blogger who gives great advice on how to be the best uber blogger out there, etc. The problem that I have with bloggers like this person, that they are very conflicting on their rules and advice. One post says yeah to this and then the next nay to the very thing that they said yeah on, and I am certainly not in the mood for flip floppy advice. For that I have to say very loudly; MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND WILL YOU!!!!!! SET THE RULES TO A STANDARD AND KEEP THEM THERE! Oops, I cussed! And yelled. How negative of me. So politically correct am I??? Throw that shit out the window Walter! Political correctness…blah! Blogging political correctness..blah, blah, blah! Hypocrites!!!!!

Don’t theses people who write these “How to Blog” advice sites realize that the person who set the standard of blogging is the very person who I am writing about?

Yes, it was Ree Drummond! Ree unknowingly set the standard for blogging. On top of the need for not feeling so isolated, I guarantee the need for being social comes naturally to her. With the Confessions of a Pioneer Woman, which made Ree a household name, it should be Ree who could write the standard of a “How to Blog.” However, I believe in Ree’s fashion she would probably say, “I don’t know about that, you just have to do your own thing with proper grammar” or “You have to be yourself” or “I just started telling stories from my past and went from there.

For me not naturally being a naturally social person like Ree, I struggle a bit. I struggle to find the time to blog. I struggle with the right words. The right way to present the subject without trying to be critical. Yes, I would probably make a great critic. It’s hard for me not to be. But I am the type who is used to critiquing to make something better. To improve upon whether its a recipe, or the way something is done. I find it in my everyday life to critique, to fix, to comrade than to cut someone down. You learn from each other on how to make things better.

Believe it or not even with my experience as a cook, I have learned a lot more from doing this challenge other than our stated original needs. I learned beyond the standard of what a boss would present for me to cook or make for that particular reason. I have adventured into new products that I probably would have never used before because that were not part of the status quo of my kitchen needs. Items such as yellow potatoes are now a new addition to my kitchen along with cream cheese to have for great mashed potatoes. That makes TW happy. Which makes me happy.

Another thing that I learned is that I like using food a way to give back. If you believe it or not I once was married to a liberal who wanted everything for free, put me down for speaking my mind, didn’t like the idea of me making more money than he did. And the list could go on with the smuck but I’ll stop right there and say he is the reason why I left that marriage. No cheating, just left. Thank the good lord for divorce court! Anyway, with food I enjoy giving back to others. With my daughter off to college and basically having both feet out the door of living at home, it is just TW and I. Having a two person household it is awfully hard to cook the quantity of food that Ree does in her books. So with the nearly 100, yes, I said 100 recipes I have cooked so far and have not posted about, I have either taken into work for everyone to have or I have taken the left overs in for my lunch the next day. I know next day lunches is not a way of giving back but taking in breakfast items or dessert items are. All because some folks might just run out the door without having a good breakfast or have no means of having a good breakfast. The desserts just give a good comforting hug if you will to a bad day or just an extra pep in the step to get through the rest of the day.

I will say that the best way of giving back was to my parents. The last twenty years haven’t been the best. There have been some ups and downs but my daughter (who is the best thing I have ever created) was one of those bumps that lead me to be a single parent for most of her life except for the years I was married to that liberal. My parents helped a lot of the years. So this past New Years and this doesn’t seem like much for all that they have done, I made them dinner. With TW’s insane of amount of overtime that he gets around the holidays we bought a beef tenderloin which runs for $15.99 a pound to nearly $22.00 a pound. Yeah, I know Ree doesn’t let ya in on that one in her books. I got sticker shock when the butcher told me that one. How much??? What?!?!?!? You’re kidding…right???? Nope, he wasn’t kidding. I prepped everything here at our place and then took the meal over to my parent’s house. Everything was cooked in advanced excepted the meat, I left it up to my mom’s super awesome oven to do the work since mine sucks. The meal was greatly appreciated, not to mention absolutely delicious. I got a lot of praises out of that one but nothing can compare for all what they have done over the years.

I may have woken up this morning not in the mood for anything but I soon realize with writing this post that I may not be the right cut for blogging, and I could go my whole life without it along with social media too, all because I am not that type of person. I am content on being a worker, a comrade, a person who says take your hypocrisy and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine. I am not writing this to get rich, I just wanted a job to match my degree. Yes, I write “I” and there is a whole lot of “me” centered post that make me sound self centered our in your terms negative. I don’t know what to tell ya except; SUCK IT UP ASSHOLE! Oh, I cussed again! Bad me. Oops, bad grammar! Anyway, I am not in the mood for that kind of bull crap.

Go about life Victoriously!

AV

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